A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.

    The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

    The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

    The pharmacists eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy - I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You can NOT have any cyanide!"

    The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

    The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.
  • The Price of Beauty A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
    "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife...
  • The Cockpit As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc.
    Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while our captain, Rachel Cole and crew take you safely to your destination...
  • Second Career Allan retired in his early 50's and started a second career. However, even though he loved his new job, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late.
    But he was a good worker and really sharp, so his boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day, his boss called him...
  • All Girls Bar A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
    After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the server, "Hey, you want to hear a blond joke...
  • How to Get into Heaven? When Tim was just a wee lad, he went regularly to Sunday School.
    One day, his teacher decided to test Tim to see if he understood the concept of getting to Heaven.
    She asked him, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?"