Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

    He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"

    She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

    The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

    She says, "That he did, Father..."

    The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

    She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn gun...'"
  • Blind Pilots Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots' uniforms--both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other...
  • The Angry Genie One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger.
    A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp...
  • The Mystery Play A man arrives at the theater to see the latest production only to learn that it is completely sold out.
    He finds an usher and pleads with him, "You must help me, I am a huge...
  • The Last Chicken A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says...
  • The Hypnotist Accident It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed, "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience...