• Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle.

    'No, no, no!' she screamed.

    'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.'

    With that, the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you! No, thank you!
  • When Death Came Death came to a guy and said,"My friend today is your day..."
    The guy said,"But I am not ready!"
    Then death said, "Well your name is the next on my list...
  • Blonde Commits Suicide A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
    'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her...
  • The Paintings A man was standing in a gallery, studying two near-identical pictures by the same artist. Both showed a glass of wine, a basket of bread rolls, a bowl of salad and a plate of...
  • The Sunday edition An irate old lady called the newspaper office loudly demanding to know where her Sunday paper was.
    "Madam," said the newspaper employee, "Today is Saturday. The Sunday edition...
  • Most Wanted! Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals.

    One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

    "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."

    Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT