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    A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.

    "Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.

    She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine?"
  • Talking to God! Teacher fell asleep in class and Little Johnny walked up to him.
    Little Johnny, "Teacher are you sleeping in class...
  • Seven Impossible Things to say when Drunk: 1. No thanks, I`m married.
    2. Thank you, but I won`t make any attempt to dance, I have no...
  • Shoe tongue! A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes.
    "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk...
  • Vending Machine There was a blonde woman at a soda machine. She put a dollar in the slot and pushed the Pepsi button...
  • Squirrels' Nuts During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer...
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