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    After a busy day commuters settled down on their train trip home, when a chap hauled out his mobile and loudly started up:

    "Hi darling, it's John, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's 7.00 and not 5.00 but I had a long meeting - no, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss, no darling you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah..."

    When this went on more than 15 minutes, a young woman sitting opposite him, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice, "Hey, John! Turn off that phone and come back to bed!"
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