A blonde went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots.

    The owner replied, "Sorry, I don't have any at the moment."

    "Damn and blast!" said the blonde, "I have been invited to a fancy dress party for the first time in my life and I want to go as a Pirate, and I have been told to be as authentic as possible, hence the need for the parrot," explained the Blonde.

    "Well," said the owner, "if you come back here next week, specifically on Thursday, I am expecting a shipment from South America and I'll be able to supply you with a parrot, guaranteed."

    "Damn and blast!" said the blonde, "I can't come on that day or for some time after."

    "Why not?" Asked the owner.

    "Because that is the day I'm having my leg amputated!"
  • The End is Near! A man is driving down the road when he spots 2 priests on the side nailing signs into the ground.
    The first sign says, "The End is Near...
  • To Pay or Not to Pay? Few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fees.
    The student struck a deal saying, "I will pay your fee the day I win my first case...
  • The Atheist An atheist was fishing in Scotland one day when his boat was suddenly attacked by the Loch Ness Monster. The boat capsized and the man was tossed skywards...
  • Parrot Action Santa went to an auction and bid for a parrot. Santa bid 1000 rupees, but someone else bid 2000.
    Santa bid 2500 rupees...
  • Got Any Peanuts? A duck walked into a general store, waddled up to the counter and asked, "Got any peanuts?"
    "No," said the assistant...