A man goes into a bar, he's really pissed off. He sits down and orders a beer.

    "What's wrong?" The barman asks him.

    "Lawyers are assholes!" he exclaims.

    A huge redneck sitting next to him gets up, prods him on the shoulder and slurs, "Mister, ah take exception to that!"

    Looking him up-and-down the man is confused. "Why? Are you a Lawyer?" he asks.

    "Nope!" replies the redneck. "I'm an asshole!"
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    REAL FRIENDS: Is the reason you have no food.
    FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days...
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    Minister said there will be...