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    Alia Bhatt: Hey dad, what's the plan for weekend ?
    Mahesh Bhatt: Income Tax Returns.
    Alia Bhatt: Hey, first Part Kab Release Hua Tha?
    Mahesh Bhatt: Jaa Meri Maa, Tu Shooting Pe Jaa!!!

    Alia was Participating 100 metres Race...
    Referee said: 1, 2, 3, GO....
    Everybody started running except Alia Bhatt.
    Referee: Why are you not running...?
    Alia Bhatt: My number is 4.

    SBI Bank: Humara Bank Aapko bina Interest Ke Loan De raha Hai....
    Alia Bhatt: Agar Dene Mein Interest hi Nahi Hai Toh Kyun De Rahe Ho? Nahi Chahiye....

    Alia Bhatt: Let's go for movie .
    Varun: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today.
    Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it, tell him you're sick.

    Alia reading newspaper.
    News: Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump.
    Alia comments: Idiot !!! Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!

    Deepika Padukone: I have more Fans than You.
    Alia Bhatt: Big deal, I have AC at Home.
  • Google Adsense Did you hear that Google is now offering free email accounts that are 500 times bigger...
  • Calling Customer Care... Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless, and, so easy to see happening - customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past December...
  • The In-laws Ministry A mother-in-law explaining work to her newly wed Daughter-in-law. "I am Home Minister as well as Finance Minister of this house, your Father-in-law is the Foriegn Minister...
  • All Is Well... At dawn the telephone rings...
    "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
    "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you...
  • The Deer Hunter A man decided to take his blonde wife deer hunting for the first time. After he explained the basics to his blonde wife, he told her the most important piece of information...