One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door."

    So the guy says, "Well, give me some examples."

    So the girlfriend proceeds to tell him, "Well the first way is, if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me."

    Then she said, "The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole than that means he is inexperienced and that isn't for me either."

    Then she said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"

    He then proceeded to say, "Well, first before I do anything else, I lick the lock."
  • Mom and Uncle in Bed! "Hello?"
    "Hi honey.
    This is Daddy....... Is Mommy near the phone?"
    "No Daddy, she`s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
    After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you don`t have an Uncle Paul...
  • Life is Unfair A body-builder was admiring his body in the mirror when he noticed he was sun tanned everywhere but his penis. So, he went to the beach, naked, and buried himself in the sand with only his penis...
  • Simple Medical Test A very simple obesity test for tummy size. While pissing in standing posture, try to see your pappu without bending down. Do it when your pappu is normal in size, erect pappu can lead to incorrect...
  • Rooster Weathervane ! One day in school, Little Johnny was learning about the weather. The teacher asked, "Class, can any one tell us what animal is usually depicted as a weather vane?"
    Little Johnny`s said, "Yes, they use a cock....
  • Little Johnny's Science Project Monday was science day. Each child in class was supposed to bring something from home to show in class. First up was little Suzie. She goes to the front of the class with some bugs...