Wanting a portrait with which to surprise his wife, a businessman asked a blonde female painter he'd been recommended to paint him in the nude.

    "No," the talented blonde artist said. "I don"t do that sort of thing".

    "But what if I double your fee?" he pleaded.

    "Nope, sorry. Won't do it".

    "How about I give you five times what you normally get?"

    "Oh, okay then," said the artist, "but I'm keeping my socks on. I need a place to put my brushes."
  • Lovemaking Tips For Seniors 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
    2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
    3. Set the mood with lighting....
  • Mom and Uncle in Bed! "Hello?"
    "Hi honey.
    This is Daddy....... Is Mommy near the phone?"
    "No Daddy, she`s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
    After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you don`t have an Uncle Paul...
  • Life is Unfair A body-builder was admiring his body in the mirror when he noticed he was sun tanned everywhere but his penis. So, he went to the beach, naked, and buried himself in the sand with only his penis...
  • Simple Medical Test A very simple obesity test for tummy size. While pissing in standing posture, try to see your pappu without bending down. Do it when your pappu is normal in size, erect pappu can lead to incorrect...
  • Rooster Weathervane ! One day in school, Little Johnny was learning about the weather. The teacher asked, "Class, can any one tell us what animal is usually depicted as a weather vane?"
    Little Johnny`s said, "Yes, they use a cock....