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    My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake).

    One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?

    Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts about puberty at such an early age, she told me that those were for "special occasions."

    Now fast forward a few months... It's my Mother's Birthday, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table.

    When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling.

    Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top.

    I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge!!!

    My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.

    "But, Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!"
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