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    After a brutal and tough day carrying the cross up Golgatha, the Romans nailed Jesus with no remorse to the heavy wooden structure. Golgatha was a grand hill, and as the cross was raised Jesus looked down upon all those gathered before him.

    He saw his wonderful mother Mary. He saw gods children. He saw Jerusalem in all its glory. But his eyes finally fell on his good friend and disciple Peter.

    "Peteeer....," he called through painful breaths, "Peeteerr...."

    Peter, the must loyal of all Jesus's follows, jumped in shock. He began to run toward Jesus.

    "Yes my lord?" Peter replied.

    But as soon as he began to get close the Romans roared, "NO!" and viciously chopped off poor Peters Legs.

    Peter, wallowing in pain, heard his messiah call him again, "Peeetteeer... peeter," growing more faint with each call.

    So once again Peter tried, crawling with his arms... pulling as hard as he could.

    Suddenly, more sharp Roman swords fell upon him. They took his arms this time, leaving him limbless.

    But as he lay there, face down in the mud, Peter heard the Son of God once more, "Peeteer"

    So Peter rolled this time with all his might, reaching the bottom of the cross, "Yes my lord, Yes, Yes," he screamed with anticipation, "how can I serve you?"

    And in his fading breaths, whimpering and quiet, Jesus replied, "Peeter... Peter... I... I can see your house from here!"
  • Wrong Side! I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there`s a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and crystal glasses...
  • Apple vs Windows Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store in NY:
    "Don`t ever fart here;
    the smell will stay for ages.
    We don`t have Windows!"
    And Tit for Tat from Microsoft in their premises... "Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday`s half eaten apple. We have been providing open window systems to the world since ages."
  • Sasural Hai Ya Ghar ? Ek Ladki Ki Nayi Nayi Shaadi Hui. Bahu Ka Mann Udaas Na Ho Issliye Sab Gharwaalo Ne Socha Uska Khaas Khayal Rakhenge. Subah-Subah Hi Sasur Bole: Aaj Se Tum Meri Bahu Nahi Beti Ho. Shaam Ko Saas Boli: Aaj Se...
  • Clerk Ka Kamaal Thekedar Se Setting Ho Jaane Ke Baad Clerk Ne Sahab Ko Bata Kar File Rakhi. Sahab Ne Likha "Approved".
    Do Din Baad Thekedar Apne Vaade Se Mukar Gaya. Clerk Ne Sahab Ko Bataya. Sahab Bole...
  • One Eared Admiral A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn`t physically impaired he remained in the Navy and eventually...
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