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    It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy, "My name is Bob Fuckhauer."

    Upset, the teacher said very loudly, "THERE'LL BE NONE OF THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR IN MY CLASS THIS YEAR, now Bob; tell me your real name!"

    The kid said, "No, really teacher, it is Bob Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!"

    Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, the teacher went across the hall and knocked on the fourth grade classroom door.

    The fourth grade teacher had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment, so she entered the room and directly asked the class, "Do you have Fuckhauer in here?"

    "Hell no!" replied a little kid from the front row, "We don't even get a damn cookie break!"
  • Recipe for a Happy Life Travis had been rather upbeat lately.
    "What gives?" asked Jim.

    "Just loving life, Jim. Loving life," he replied. "Health, togetherness, motivated children, lack of envy: that`s the recipe for a happy life...
  • The Convent Girl A young man, with a promising career ahead of him, decided to marry a respectable convent girl, untarnished with the sins of contemporary society. After the wedding service, the bridal couple had to drive through...
  • How to Ask a Girl Out "First," said the playboy, "I`m going to buy you a few drinks to loosen you up."
    "Oh no you`re not," said the girl.
    "Then I`ll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks...
  • How to Get an Erection! A young man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except to play with himself. After many years, even that became so monotonous that he couldn`t even...
  • A Priest and a Shepherd A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu"...