The following are all quotes collected from the science exams of elementary school students:

    Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

    Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.

    Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.

    When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

    Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

    The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

    The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

    Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.

    Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

    A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

    Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

    We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

    To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

    I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
  • In continuation of what Rishi Kapoor said... Dear Jovial John,
    Welcome Home !
    Get off at Indira Gandhi International airport. Tell the driver to take Mahatma Gandhi road and turn left on Nehru road...
  • Cleaning Chickens Third grade teacher Miss Crabtree said to little Johnny, "You`re late again, Johnny, for the third time this month."
    Little Johnny said, "It`s not my fault, Miss Crabtree. The reason I`m three hours late is...
  • Imported Perfumes Once Jeeto was riding in a fancy hotel`s elevator. On the second floor, a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She smoothed down the skirt of her hot pink dress, looks down at...
  • First Date Proposal Pappu walks into a bookstore. Not looking for anything in particular. On his way to the back of the store, he spots something of interest. A book with a very interesting title: Dating for the New Millennium...
  • Santa-Pappu Jokes Zoo Mein Ek Sher Ne Santa Ko Maar-Maar Ke Zakhmi Kar Diya. Logon Ne Hairan Hokar Sher Se Puchha: Arey Tum Toh Bade Seedhe-Sadhe Shareef The, Santa Ko Maar Maar Ke Kyu Zakhmi Kar Diya? Sher Gusse Se Bola...