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    Fred gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"

    "I was out getting a tattoo," Fred replied.

    "A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

    "I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my privates," he said proudly.

    "What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

    "Well, for one, I like to watch my money grow," said Fred.

    "Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

    "Three, I like how money feels in my hand.

    "And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
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