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    A Preacher said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

    And the congregation cried, "Amen!"

    "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river."

    And the congregation cried, "Amen!"

    "And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river."

    Again the congregation cried, "Amen!"

    The preacher sat down.

    The deacon then stood up and said, "For our closing hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, 'We Shall drink from That River'." THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH...!!!
  • A Genuine Blonde A blonde went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots. The owner replied, "Sorry, I don`t have any at the moment."
    "Damn!" said the blonde, "I`ve been invited to a fancy masquerade party...
  • No Longer a Virgin Pauly`s family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn`t eating much, and she just keeps her head down. After a few minutes, she says, "I have something to tell you." Everyone gets silent...
  • What a Hoot! Each evening bird-lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl. One night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the conversation....
  • Pissing and Moaning! An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called... and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned...
  • Raffle Ticket I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead I bought a raffle ticked for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap...
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