Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, "I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than I am. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it."

    "Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"

    "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.

    "Hmm. Well, where do you catch 'em?"

    "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."

    "Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"

    "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the crap out of 'em, and eat 'em!"

    "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
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  • Naming The Baby When Little Johnny`s mother found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But Little Johnny overheard some of his parents` private conversations...
  • Christmas Rum Cake Ok I`ve had enough. Too many people asking me again and again to give them the Christmas cake recipe. I`m not gonna type again, one last time!!!
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  • The Innocent Wife ! Wife calls her scientist husband... "Honey... It`s Friday... you`re late..."
    "I`m busy with my team in an experiment."
    "Whats that?"
    "We`ve just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambient...