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    A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges, when she returned home very late from a party.

    The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning.

    At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "What time did you get in last night?"

    "Not too late, Dad," she replied nervously.

    Dead-pan, her father said, "Then I'll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front wheel of the car."
  • Shopping With The Wife After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury`s.Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate...
  • A Hunting Accident Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. His eyes are rolled back in his head and he doesn`t seem to be breathing. The other hunter takes out his cell phone and calls...
  • A 65 year Old Mom With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit...
  • Flying Monkey! Three scientists in Brunswick, Maine, were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant`s backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been...
  • Hard To Hear At church, Joe was in charge of taking up the offerings. One Sunday after the services, the priest counted the cash and found it was smaller than anticipated. So he questioned Joe. He told him that it did not...
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