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    A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric over sized gas-guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it.

    I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 30mph for it to start.

    She said 'Fine!' and hopped into her car and drove off.

    I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.

    A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 50 mph, I suddenly realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions...
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    "I can`t stand it anymore...
  • Shopping With The Wife After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury`s.Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate...
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