•  

    The new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous, and about ten minutes into the sermon his mind went blank.

    After a brief second of complete panic, he remembered what they had taught him in seminary about situations like this: repeat the last point. His teacher assured him this would help him remember what was supposed to come next. So he gave it a try.

    "Behold, I come quickly," he said. Still his mind was blank.

    He tried again. "Behold, I come quickly." Still nothing.

    He tried one more time -- speaking and gesturing with such force that he fell forward, knocking the pulpit to one side, tripping over the flower pot, and falling into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.

    The young preacher apologised profusely.

    "That's all right, young man," said the little old lady. "It was my fault. I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming!"
  • Never Ask a Lady Her Age Operation Ke Liye Behoshi Ka injection Lagane Se Pehle Doctor Ne Aurat Se Pucha: Aapki Age Kitni Hai?
    Lady Patient: 28 Saal.
    Doctor Ne Kaha: Aapko Pakka Yakeen Hai Na Ki Aapki...
  • If My Body Were A Car If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I`ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...
  • Wrong Number Santa Ne Delhi Se Apni Wife Ko Chandigarh Phone Kiya Toh Naukar Ne Phone Uthaya.
    Santa: Madam Se Baat Karvao Meri.
    Naukar: Wo Toh Sahab Ke Saath Apne Kamre Mein...
  • Doctor's Advice Yesterday I was talking to my doctor and after knowing my occupation he advised: You must exercise more. Don`t buy cold drinks from stalls. Drink more plain water. Don`t drive when going out...
  • How To Make Pie Grandma made such beautiful pies. One day I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?"
    "Well, it`s a family secret...