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    Anyone who has raised, or even just been around, a toddler knows these things are true.

    Toddlers and drunks are EERILY similar!

    No personal boundaries.

    Falls over A LOT. Gets up, yells "I OK!" and keeps going.

    Poor decision making skills.

    Spontaneous vomiting.

    Speaks gibberish.

    Cries for no apparent reason.

    Philosophical conversations with inanimate objects.
    Short attention span.

    Argumentative.

    Poor short term memory.
    Zero inhibitions.

    Loses everything.

    Will pass out anywhere.

    One track mind.

    Demanding.

    Getting them undressed (or redressed) is like wrestling an alligator.

    Runs into things that haven't moved..... ever.

    One volume setting - LOUD!
  • Returning a Lost Phone When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened...
  • Father's Ashes! A guy goes to a girl`s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks. As he`s standing there alone...
  • Doubting Hubby's Character Lady patient to the Doctor inside his examination room: Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable.
    Doctor: Trust me lady, I am...
  • Working With God A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing...
  • Military Roll Call It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper: "Ames"
    "Here...
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