•  

    1. We got off the Titanic first.

    2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

    3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

    4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

    5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

    6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

    7. Taxis stop for us.

    8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

    9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

    10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

    11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

    12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

    13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

    14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

    15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

    16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

    17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

    18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

    19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

    20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

    21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

    22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

    23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

    24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

    25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

    26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

    27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

    28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

    29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

    30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
  • A Cheap Gift Fred was well known for his cheapness and his "eye for a bargain." One day he was looking for a cheap wedding present for his niece, so he went into a thrift shop. As he was walking around, he noticed...
  • It's Lunchtime An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the course language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided...
  • My Strength & Weakness A job seeker was interviewing, and the interviewer asked him, "Tell me what is your greatest strength?"
    The prospective employee said, "Sir, I am a little bit shy, but should I give you my...
  • The Real Blonde A blonde went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots. The owner replied, "Sorry, I don`t have any at the moment."
    "Dammmnnn and blast!" said the blonde, "I have been invited to...
  • The Girl With A Big Nose A very handsome man gets into a terrible car accident. The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye. Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye. The man becomes very depressed...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT