• Not Easy to be a Teacher

    TEACHER: John is climbing a tree to pick some mangoes. Begin the sentence with Mangoes.
    Student : Mangoes, John is coming to pick you.
    Definitely Not Easy to be a Teacher !!!!!

    TEACHER: What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
    Student: We don't call them, they come on their own.

    TEACHER: How can we keep our school clean?
    Student: By staying at home.

    In English Grammar class: Teacher: What's the difference between "He cleans the plate" and "the plate is cleaned by him."
    Student: In first sentence 'HE' is not married, but in second sentence 'He' is married....

    Teacher asks a student: Please Translate the following sentence in Hindi.
    There was a fine line between Amitabh and Jaya.
    Student translates in Hindi: Amitabh Aur Jaya Ke Beech Ek Mast Rekha Thi.
  • Head-On Accident

    A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on.

    One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, "He wouldn't let me have my half of the road!"

    After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage.

    The police officer asked, "That old lady says that you wouldn't let her have her half of the road. Why not?"

    In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, "Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road -- if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!!!!"
  • A Cute Little Fart

    A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed she was gaining a little weight. "Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?" he asked.

    "No, Father. Just a little gas." sister Susan explained.

    A month or so later the priest noticed that she had gained even more weight.

    "Gaining some weight are we sister Susan?" he asked again. "Oh no, father. Just a little gas."

    She replied again. A couple of months later the priest noticed sister Susan pushing a baby carriage around the convent.

    He leaned over and looked in the carriage and said, "Cute little fart."
  • Household Expenses

    Santa: Oye Jeeto! Bada Kharcha Ho Gaya Is Mahine... Saari Salary Khatam Ho Gayi. Kahan Lag Gaye Itne Paise.. Kahan Kharch Kar Diye???

    Jeeto: Maine Apne Liye Nahin Use Kiye... Ghar Kharch Mein Hi Lag Gaye Saare Paise.

    Santa: Kamaal Hai... Kuch Ni Bacha... Koi Hisaab-Kitaab Hai?

    Jeeto: Maine Sab Likh Ke Rakha Hai Diary Mein. Tum chahe Toh Chack Kar Lo.

    Santa: Ok, show me.

    Wife:
    1500 - Milk
    900 - PNKG
    4000 - Vegetables
    1100 - PNKG
    1800 - Dhobi
    500 - PNKG
    3500 - Maid
    800 - PNKG
    6000 - Grocery
    1500 - PNKG
    1800 - Electric & Water Bills
    1000 - PNKG
    1200 -
    600 -
    900 -
    ...
    ...
    Santa: Ek Minute... Ek Minute... Ye PNKG Kya Cheez Hai???

    Jeeto: Pata Nahi Kitthe Gaye!