Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda for a few hours and relax.

    "In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad, fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of the afternoon boating or playing golf or tennis...

    "When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my veranda again."

    The other gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife.

    She asked, "What's his wife's name?" Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda."
  • Speech Impediment Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
    "Yeah, sure thing...
  • Never Lie About Your Age A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She`s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims to the whole table, "What rotten luck I`ve had today! What in the world should I do now...
  • Sentence Making The teacher once asked the class to make a sentence with the phrase pistol too. Timmy raised his hand, and after being recognized said, "The lone Ranger tamed the wild west with his faithful Indian companion..
  • Getting Married With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight."
    As expected, the wife wasn`t happy at being imposed..
  • Front Of A Tree A Norwegian applied for a job as a logger deep in the Canadian woods. The foreman took him into the bush to test his knowledge of logging. He stopped the truck, pointed at a tree, and said..