I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong,
    One who loves to listen long.
    One who thinks before he speaks,
    One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

    I want him to be gainfully employed,
    When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
    Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
    massages my back and begs to do more.

    Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind,
    And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
    I want this man to love me to no end,
    And always be my very best friend.

    I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac, with huge boobs.
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    "Not usually," answered the doctor. "Not unless you do it too often."
    "How about three times a day?" the patient asked...
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  • Balls Like Bull Two old ladies lived way out in the country, only going into town on Sundays for church. One Sunday, there was a strange pastor, a very handsome man, in the pulpit, preaching away quite merrily...
  • Use Your Wife's... A woman was at home when she hears someone knocking on her door. She goes to the door and opens it and sees a man standing there. That man asks her, "Do you have a vagina?"
    She slams the door...