•  

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.

    Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
    The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out.

    The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

    Before the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other librarian we had could write."
  • Speak Now or... At a wedding ceremony the priest asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn`t go on, it was time to stand up and speak, or forever hold his or her peace. The moment of utter silence...
  • Where's My Boogie? A guy was packing for a business trip and his five year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed helping her Daddy pack for his big trip. At one point she giggled and said...
  • A Spanish Gift A woman goes to Spain to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to...
  • Violating God's Law A missionary heard about a native who had five wives. He paid a visit to the native`s hut, and sure enough there were five wives. The two men sat outside the hut and talked....
  • Problems of the Elderly "WHERE Is My SUNDAY Paper?" The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.
    "Ma`am," said the newspaper employee...