•  

    An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

    She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

    Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

    A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."!

    Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

    Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck."

    Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

    "Where are you going?" she asked.

    "To get my teeth!"
  • Drink Fault-finding Guide A solution to all of your drinking troubles: Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet.
    Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face. Solution: Buy another pint...
  • Staggering Drunk Randy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddies. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom...
  • Life Insurance Beneficiary Mary was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the insurance policy with the clerk at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband...
  • Wise Words From a Monk A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn`t know how to continue to live her life. She hears that there`s a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decides to go there to consult him...
  • Lifelong Medication A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor`s office.
    "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT