•  

    One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door."

    So the guy says, "Well, give me some examples."

    So the girlfriend proceeds to tell him, "Well the first way is, if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me."

    Then she said, "The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole than that means he is inexperienced and that isn't for me either."

    Then she said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"

    He then proceeded to say, "Well, first before I do anything else, I lick the lock."
  • Elderly Sex! A Doctor recently had a patient "drop" in on him for an unscheduled appointment "What can I do for you today?" the Doctor asked.
    The aged gentleman replied, "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love...
  • Is it Golf? My wife told me it was about time that I learned to play golf. It`s a game where you chase a little ball all over...
  • Poor Mathematics! A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:
    Dear Wife:
    You must realize you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy...
  • Red Sneakers Jack the sailor docked at New York after a frustrating three-month voyage. Unfortunately he`d lost most of his pay playing poker on board ship, so when he eventually found a lady of the night all he could offer her was...
  • She's All Mine The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn`t too sure how to get there, so told the couple he would ask directions...