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    I had a friend who during his vacation to Thailand, ordered a massage session in his room, one for his wife and one for him.

    After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai girl said, "
    He kept quiet ...

    The Thai masseuse again said, "Massage Pinis... Sir!"

    There was again silence.

    Finally his wife spoke, "Don't have high hopes...She's saying 'Massage Finish' ..."
  • Unlocking The Doors One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door...
  • Crotch-Less Panties A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotch-less panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband...
  • Elderly Sex! A Doctor recently had a patient "drop" in on him for an unscheduled appointment "What can I do for you today?" the Doctor asked.
    The aged gentleman replied, "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love...
  • Is it Golf? My wife told me it was about time that I learned to play golf. It`s a game where you chase a little ball all over...
  • Poor Mathematics! A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:
    Dear Wife:
    You must realize you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy...