|Ian Chappell to Derek Underwood:|
England slow left-arm bowler Derek Underwood was hit on the hand while batting. Ian Chappell surprised Underwood with his concern.
Chappell: How's the hand, which one was it?
Underwood: It was my right.
Chappell: That's a shame. We were aiming for the left.
Ian Botham to Rodney Hogg:
As Rodney Hogg bowled to Ian Botham he lost his balance and fell at the England player's feet.
Botham: I know you think I'm great Hoggy, but no need to get down on your knees.
Glenn McGrath to Michael Atherton:
Australia's Glenn McGrath tried out an old Australian classic on England captain Michael Atherton, who fell for it hook, line and sinker.
McGrath: Athers, it would help if you got rid of the shit at the end of your bat.
Atherton looks at the bottom of his bat.
McGrath: No, No, the other end.
Merv Hughes to Graham Gooch:
Hughes had sent several fast deliveries whistling past Graham Gooch, before dispatching the following verbal knockout punch.
Hughes: I'll get you a fucking piano you Pommie poofta. Let's see if you can play that.
Dennis Lillee to Mike Gatting:
There's no easier target for a joke than an overweight man, as Dennis Lillee proved with the former England captain Mike Gatting.
Lillee: Hell, Gatt, move out of the way, I can't see the stumps.
Bill Woodfull to Douglas Jardine:
In the infamous 'Bodyline' series, prim and proper England captain Douglas Jardine complained to Australian captain Bill Woodfull, having just been sworn at.
Jardine: Your slip just swore at me.
Woodfull: All right, which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?
Phil Tufnell to The Umpire:
An angry Phil Tufnell took his frustration out on the umpire after his appeal against Dean Jones was turned down.
Tufnell: Are you bloody blind?
Umpire: I beg your pardon?
Tufnell: Are you fucking deaf as well?
Michael Atherton to Ian Healey:
Michael Atherton had the perfect reply for Ian Healy when accused of cheating.
Healey: You're a fucking cheat.
Atherton: When in Rome dear boy...
Ian Botham to Rodney Marsh:
As Ian Botham prepared to bat, Aussie wicket keeper Rodney Marsh decided to put him off and was metaphorically smashed out of the ground.
Marsh: So how's your wife and my kids?
Botham: The wife's fine - the kids are retarded.
Javed Miandad to Merv Hughes:
Javed Miandad called Hughes a fat bus conductor during a match. A few balls later, Hughes dismissed Miandad.
Hughes: 'Tickets please' as he ran past the departing batsman.
Glenn McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan:
McGrath: So what does Brian Lara's dick taste like?
Sarwan: I don't know. Ask your wife.
McGrath: If you ever Fucking mention my wife again, I'll Fucking rip your Fucking throat out.
Mike Whitney to Ravi Shastri:
Shastri hits the ball towards substitute fielder Mike Whitney and looked for a single.
Whitney: If you leave the crease i'll break your fucking head.
Shastri: If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the fucking 12th man.
Fred Trueman to Raman Subba Row:
Trueman was bowling and induced an edge to first slip but the ball went between Raman Subba Row's legs. The fieldsman apologised.
Row: Sorry, Fred. I should've kept my legs together.
Trueman: So should your mother.