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    This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper.

    Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air-conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself."

    So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea.

    The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?"

    "Huh? I thought you were out of town."
  • The Impatient Pilot An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked...
  • Virgin Wool ?!? Sarah, being the `only buy-on-sale shopper,` beckoned to a salesman in a Department Store, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there...
  • Help Out! A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a big, muddy hole in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves...
  • Not Easy to be a Teacher TEACHER: John is climbing a tree to pick some mangoes. Begin the sentence with Mangoes.
    Student: Mangoes, John is coming to pick you.
    Definitely Not Easy to be a Teacher...
  • Head-On Accident A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on. One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, "He wouldn`t let me have my half...