•  

    This little old lady is walking her dog around the local lake. It is a cold morning and the lake is still frozen. All of a sudden her little dog spots a duck on the ice and runs out to bite the shit out of it.

    The dog falls through the ice and the little old lady starts chucking a wobbler....

    "Help, help.... my dog has fallen into the lake."

    Watching all the commotion is a German jogger who sprints over to the lady and says "Vot is zee matter viv your dog; can I za help?"

    "Oh yes please" says the old lady, so the jogger wades in and saves the dog and puts it on the bank beside the old lady.

    "Oh you are so kind, are you a vet?"

    "VET!" replied the German.... "VET!.... I'm fuk*** soaked!"
  • Elderly Road Trip While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses...
  • Next Generation Kids How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
    You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8
    What do you think your mom...
  • My Favourite Animal Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
    She said I wasn`t funny; but she couldn`t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always...
  • It's All About 'LOFT' Three guys are golfing with the club pro. First guy tees off and hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and says, "What did I do wrong?"
    The pro says, "Loft...
  • A Tale of Two Diaries Wife`s Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that...