•  

    A man bought a kitten and tried to teach it to speak. Everyday for six years he taught it the alphabet.

    For hours and hours he'd say to the cat, "Repeat after me..." and then he would say a word, or a sentence.

    He was eagerly waiting the day when the cat would repeat the words. But alas, the only thing the cat did for those six years was looking back at his teacher.

    Then after six years, to his complete amazement, the cat said, "Look out, the roof is falling down!"

    Completely flabbergasted, the man just stared at the cat.

    Seconds later, he was crushed to death by the falling roof.

    The cat shook his head and said, "For six years he tried so hard to get me to speak. Then, when I did, he wouldn't listen!"
  • All Quacked Up An American tourist was visiting a small village in Ireland when there was a sudden gust of wind which blew his hat off into the middle of a nearby pond. Walking over to the village idiot, who was sitting beside the pond...
  • I Gave at the Office Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing...
  • Playing with Words The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend...
  • Marriage License A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn`t, sent them off to get...
  • Ordinary vs Political Thief The Ordinary Thief steals your Money, bag, watch, gold chain etc.
    But, The Political Thief steals your future, career, education, health and business...