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    A pensioner drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph, looking in his rearview mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140, then 150,... then 155,... Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

    The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."

    The Man looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied:- "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!

    The Cop left saying, "Have a good day, Sir..."
  • Pet Penguins! A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man's truck and said, "Why are these penguins...
  • Kangaroo's High Jump A kangaroo at the Sydney zoo kept getting out of his enclosure every night. Knowing that mature kangaroos could hop very high, the zoo officials replaced the eight-foot fence with a ten-foot fence....
  • WTH is Golf Rider? Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"
    The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders...
  • The Fishing Trip Two old friends, Paddy and Mick, went on a fishing trip together. Because neither were especially avid fishermen, they rented all their equipment. They rented the reels and rods, the wading suits...
  • Fixing Car Dents Michelle was a very bad driver. After an unfortunate mishap in a parking garage, she took her vehicle to an auto mechanic. Seeing that the young woman was quite blonde, the mechanic decided to have a little fun...