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    A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him, "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog."

    "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.

    "I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.

    "But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.

    He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
  • Lost in the Desert A man is lost in the desert. He used up the last of his water three days ago and he`s lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling - `Mush! Mush!` Not trusting his ears he turns...
  • 1-10 Attractiveness Scale I was meeting a friend in a bar and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls looking at me. "Nine," I heard one whisper as I passed.
    Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl...
  • Being Multilingual A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says. The two Englishmen...
  • Pensioner and Police! A pensioner drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph, looking in his rearview mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140, then 150,... then 155,...
  • Is GOD Good or What? A woman received a call that her daughter was sick. She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication, got back...