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    The teacher asked the children in the Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?"

    "NO!" the children all answered.

    "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?"

    Again, the answer was, "NO!"

    "Well," the teacher continued, "then how can I get to Heaven?" In the back of the room, a 5 year old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead."
  • Cliff Hanger Mark was hiking along a mountainous trail when he lost his footing and slipped over the side of a cliff. After falling approximately 15 feet he ran into the branches of a tree growing out the side of the cliff...
  • Energetic Cocktail "What`s that drink you`re mixing" the stranger asked the bartender in the upscale Tex-Mex bar. "I call it a lil` Texas Shooter", said the bartender as he continued to mix up several batches of the drink...
  • On the House A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him that he owes $10. "But I already paid you. Don`t you remember?" says the customer. "OK," says the bartender...
  • Not So Bright Bank Robber A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, "This iz a stikup. Put all the munny in this bag."
    While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller...
  • Wrong Diagnosis An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn`t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can`t find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full...