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    The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good news. I was being promoted to Vice President of Corporate Research and Planning.

    Of course, I was excited, but that didn't stop me from asking for my new title to be changed to Vice President of Corporate Planning and Research.

    "Why?" asked the chairman.

    "Because," I said, "our organization uses abbreviated job titles, and I don't want be known as VP of CRAP."
  • Insufficient Funds A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.
    "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad...
  • Boat Number 66 At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake`s edge and yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up."
    Several minutes passed, but the boat didn`t return...
  • Lawyer's Cigars A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, loss due to fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed...
  • Answer Back Church Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies. One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to...
  • An Open Door Benjamin is in the midst of a long dry spell in Las Vegas. Eventually he gambles away all his money and has to borrow a quarter from another gambler just to use the men`s room. He finds a stall that happens...