•  

    Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself...television, ice cream, homework, video games...but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the cards they held.

    The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to quit the game and all go home. At this point, the boy's uncle stood up, took Johnny by the hand, and led him out of the room. The uncle soon returned back to the poker table without Johnny, and without comment the game resumed.

    For the rest of the afternoon, little Johnny was nowhere to be seen and the card players continued without any further interruptions.

    After the poker game ended, the father asked Johnny's uncle, "What in the world did you say to Johnny? I haven't heard a peep from him all day!"

    "Not much," the boy's uncle replied. "I just showed him how to masturbate."
  • Firm and Juicy Peaches The old farmer was having a pretty bad year. All of his crops had been lost. Fortunately, the peach orchard had done really well. The only way he was going to make it financially was to cut out the middle man and sell...
  • Dance of Love It was a difficult case for the jurors. They had to decide whether the owners of the Bottoms Up Club in NYC were guilty of obscenity. The Judge decided that it would probably be best if the jury went to the club...
  • Nymphomaniac Wife Bob took his nymphomaniac wife to the doctor for treatment. "This Is one hot potato of a lady, Doctor," he said. "Maybe you can do something for her? She goes for any man, and I get very jealous...
  • Castration Surgery A man went to see the local doctor and complained because his wife was having too many little bastards; she was having at least one per year. He said, "Doc, ya gotta help me, I can`t gets enough welfare or steal enough...
  • Going a Little Farther Young Jimmy was on his way home from the market when he saw a girl from the next farm and offered her a ride. Pretty soon, they came to a clump of trees, and she asked him to stop. Seeing that he was bashful...