The Kosher bakeries motzah machine speed controlled drive system was down and the company was losing $5,000 an hour in profits. They placed an emergency call to their maintenance department, but since it was 3:00 am, Sunday morning, the only repair man available was old Morris.

    Old Morris had been with maintenance for over 35 years. In fact he was only two years from retirement. He had seen it all and wasn't impressed by much.

    As old Morris pulled up to the guard shack at the plant entrance, he was waved through and greeted by the plant manager himself.

    "Thank goodness you're here," he said. "How long will it take you to fix it?"

    Now Morris had nothing more than the sketchiest description of the problem but he replied without hesitation, "Oh, about fifteen minutes.... so don't worry ."

    "Great!" replied the plant manager, "My men will show you where the drive controls are and get you anything you need."

    After three hours of testing, reading prints, asking questions, the drive system was still not working. The plant manager became increasingly enraged and accosted old Morris, "I thought you said you could fix this thing in FIFTEEN MINUTES!"

    "I can and I will," replied Morris. "As soon as I figure out what the fuck is wrong with it!"
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