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    A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip, and hated to leave his gorgeous, sexy very blonde wife alone. The night before he left, he brought home a vibrator and gave it to her.

    "What's this for?" she asked.

    "It's for those lonely nights when you miss me," explained her husband, winking.

    "Just think of it as something to take my place when you get horny."

    A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the vibrator in the garbage.

    "Honey," he says, "why did you throw it away? I told you, you should use it in my place when I'm gone."

    "I did," she said. "But the damned thing rattled all my fillings loose."
  • No Longer Possible An old man is walking in Amsterdam and passes a hooker standing at her door. She says to him, "Hey Granddad, why don't we give it a try?"
    He says, "No thank you. That is no longer possible for me....
  • BJ for Sore Throat "You don`t look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.
    "You`re right," said Bambi. "I feel like I`m coming down with something. My throat really hurts."
    Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat...
  • A Hot Thai Nurse After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service in the UK, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting Thailand where the beautiful nurses...
  • Making Out in BMW A couple were making love in a 5 Series BMW when the bloke`s back seized up. The ambulance men were afraid to move him in case of serious damage to his spine. So the police decided to use the `jaws of life`...
  • A Working Girl A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time-honored icebreaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come...