•  

    Mom went shopping, leaving Dad in charge of their daughter. Suzie was about 18 months old and loved playing with her new tea set. Dad was engrossed in the evening news when Suzie brought him a little cup of 'tea' (really just plain water).

    He praised her good 'cooking,' so she brought him more. After several cups of 'tea,' and much praise, Mom came home.

    "Honey, watch this," said Dad and had her wait in the living room as Suzie brought him another cup of tea.

    "Isn't she just the cutest?"

    Mom waited until he had polished off yet another cup of 'tea' before asking, "Did you ever think that the only place a baby can get water is the toilet?!"
  • Emergency Landing A plane made an emergency landing on water. The stewardess asked the passengers to slide down to the lifeboats, but the passengers refused. The stewardess then asked the captain to help...
  • The More You Drink... A bloke went into a pub, sat down at the bar and ordered five pots. The barman wondered since he was alone, but served up the five pots. And the bloke downed them all... one, two, three, four, five...
  • An Overweight Blonde A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you`ll have lost at least five...
  • Magnificent Niagara I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas. For three days all I heard from him was... `In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that... etc.` It eventually became very annoying...
  • Legal Insight Nathan is talking to his lawyer. "Here`s the deal, Abe. If you`re absolutely sure I`ll win the case, I`ll give you the business."
    "OK," replies Abe, "but before I can give you my opinion...
Test