One day, two girls from Georgia were sitting on their front porch swing. One of them had just gotten back from the big city of New York and was telling her friend all about it.

    She starts, "You know," with a heavy southern drawl, "they have women up there who have sex with other women."

    Her friend gasps, and replies, "Oh, do tell! What do they call them?"

    "They call them lesbians," the first girl tells her.

    "And they have men who have sex with other men."

    Her friend gasps once again, and says, "Oh, do tell! What do they call them?"

    The first girl says, "They call them homosexuals."

    The first girl looks around to make sure no one is looking and whispers to her friend, "And you know... They have these men... Who'll put their face in a woman's private parts... And kinda lick around and do stuff with their tongue..."

    The friend gasps once again and whispers back, "Oh, do tell... What do they call them??"

    After looking around once again to make sure no one is listening, she whispers back, "I don't know... I just patted mine on the head... and called him 'Precious'."
  • Ordering Sausages The waitress was waiting as patiently as she could while the guy was dawdling over the breakfast menu.
    He says, being a smart Alec, "I usually never return
  • An Irish Fight Into a Belfast pub comes Raditz, looking like he`d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he`s walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean...
  • Sex-Starved A dumb guy finds fifty cents in his couch at home. He really needs to have sex, so he goes to the local brothel and tells the lady at the desk, "Give me your best whore!"
    She yells upstairs, "Harry, grease up Sally...
  • First Night Out A guy worked for 30 years at the same factory. He got off work at 3:30, and was home by 3:45 every day of his life. On Fridays, he came home and gave his wife his check. One Friday he was walking towards his car...
  • Cheating Wives A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. He waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her, he found out she was working in a whore house. The guy says to the cabbie...