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    Little Johnny had a first date lined up with a woman he had been after for quite a while. When she finally consented to go out with him, he wanted to plan the most romantic evening he could.

    He picked her up at her apartment, and then drove out to the beach.

    Little Johnny had prepared very carefully for this date and brought out a blanket for them to sit upon the sand and a bottle of the finest wine.

    The moonlight was shining down on them and Little Johnny poured his date some wine. He handed her the glass, looked lovingly in to her eyes and said, "Now this is what I call romantic. The waves crashing on the shore, the moonlight in your eyes, a warm tropical breeze, a bottle of wine.....,"

    He takes a sip of wine and says, "Oh and by the way...do you Spit or swallow?
  • Gay Sons Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others...
  • Ordering Sausages The waitress was waiting as patiently as she could while the guy was dawdling over the breakfast menu.
    He says, being a smart Alec, "I usually never return
  • An Irish Fight Into a Belfast pub comes Raditz, looking like he`d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he`s walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean...
  • Sex-Starved A dumb guy finds fifty cents in his couch at home. He really needs to have sex, so he goes to the local brothel and tells the lady at the desk, "Give me your best whore!"
    She yells upstairs, "Harry, grease up Sally...
  • First Night Out A guy worked for 30 years at the same factory. He got off work at 3:30, and was home by 3:45 every day of his life. On Fridays, he came home and gave his wife his check. One Friday he was walking towards his car...