•  

    Morris went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?"

    "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer.

    "Nope," Morris replied.

    "Okay, then write him a nasty letter asking him for the $1000 he owes you," said the lawyer.

    "But it's only $500," Morris insisted.

    "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will then have the proof we need to nail him."
  • Too Many Kids A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. They hired a most comely young woman for the job. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat...
  • Time Saving Techniques The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: "You don`t want to try these techniques at home."
    "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
    "I watched my wife`s routine...
  • Butterfingers Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, a woman and her husband broke the monotony one night with a trip to the movies. She went inside to get seats while he bought popcorn and drinks in the lobby...
  • Drive It Safe A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence...
  • Having A Real Bad Day A lady is having a bad day at the table in Monte Carlo. Down to her last Pound 100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
    A gentleman next to her...