•  

    St. Peter asks the Jewish man why he deserves to be in Heaven.

    He replies, "I've been a pious Jew all my life, attended synagogue every Saturday, and I raised a lot of money for Jewish causes."

    "And what is your wife's name?" asks St. Peter.

    "Penny," the man replies.

    "Penny?!" shouts St. Peter. "You Jews are all alike. Money, money, money. You even married a woman whose name has to do with money! Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"

    Then St. Peter asks the Irishman why he deserves to be in Heaven.

    "I've been a devout Catholic all my life, attended church every Sunday, given generously to the church, and always took wafers and wine at communion." "And what's your wife's name?"

    "Brandy."

    "Brandy?!! You Irish are all alike. Drink, drink, drink. You even married a woman whose name is a type of alcohol. Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"

    With that, the Greek man turns to his wife and says, "Come on, Fanny, let's get out of here."
  • Three Most Common Wishes An Irish golfer slices his tee shot into the woods. Looking for it, he finds it near a tiny man lying near a bush with this huge knot on his head. The golfer revives the leprechaun. When he awakes, he says...
  • No Sex for a Month Little Johnny was playing in the backyard when some honeybees started annoying him. He tried to stomp on them, but his father reprimanded him, saying, "Stop that, John! Now you`ll get no honey for a month...
  • Do it... or Walk Home Josh lusted after Linda. When she finally agreed to go out with him, he took her out to dinner and then afterwards, drove her five miles out into the country, parked, and said passionately, "I want you right here...
  • Fucking Season Lena and Sven got married in St. Paul. They planned to honeymoon in Lena`s aunt`s cabin in Duluth. They caught a bus that was filled with deer hunters. About 30 minutes out of St. Paul the bus broke down right nex...
  • Screw or Twist? In the Spring of 1957, Bobby, a real cool cat with his own wheels, went to pick up his date. "Carrie`s not ready yet, Bobby. Why don`t you have a seat?" says her dad.

    "Okay," says Bobby...