•  

    A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

    "You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them.

    She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

    "I went to visit my Nana."

    "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!"

    She then asked Mitchell what he had done.

    "I took a ride on a choo-choo."

    She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words."

    She then asked Little Johnny what he had done.

    "I read a book," he replied.

    "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

    Little Johnny thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."
  • Prison Labour A blonde woman visits her husband in prison.
    Before leaving, she tells an officer, "You shouldn`t make my husband work like that. He`s exhausted !"
    Officer laughs, saying...
  • Will I be acquitted? In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
    "There`s no easy way to tell you this...
  • The Umbrella Thief A man was in the habit of carrying an umbrella wherever he went. Unfortunately, he broke his last good one. Looking at the six useless umbrellas in his umbrella stand, he decided to take them all...
  • The Yummy Dish! A man who is a manager in a 5-star hotel calls his wife.
    Husband: Aaj khaane mein kya pakaya hai?
    Wife: Steamed fine long...
  • God Is Getting Better A little girl was sitting on her grandfather`s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking...