After only a year in Canada, a Polish man got married to a nice Canadian girl. They got along quite well until the day he rushed into his lawyer's office and begged him to arrange a quick divorce.

    The lawyer said, "What are the circumstances? Have you any grounds?"

    And the Polish immigrant replied, "Ja, ja, ve've got an acre and a half with a nice little house."

    "No, I mean, what is the foundation of your case?"

    "It's made of concrete."

    "Does either of you have a grudge?"

    "No, but we have a big carport."

    "I mean, what are your relations like?"

    "All my relations are in Poland."

    "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

    "Yes, we have high fidelity stereo and a CD player."

    "No, I mean, does your wife beat you up?"

    "No, I get up before her.` `Is your wife a nagger?"

    "What? No, she's white."

    `Why do you want this divorce anyway?"

    "She's gonna kill me. She's going to poison me."

    "Really? What makes you think so?"

    `I've got proof."

    "What kind of proof?"

    "She brought home a bottle from the drug store that says, 'Polish Remover!'"
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