•  

    Travis had been rather upbeat lately.

    "What gives?" asked Jim.

    "Just loving life, Jim. Loving life," he replied.

    "Health, togetherness, motivated children, lack of envy: that's the recipe for a happy life. Plus, we've been having more sex than any time in our marriage."

    "Wow, that's pretty good after 25 years, Travis."

    "Yes, it is," he mused. "So much so that Marge has taken to calling it her 'medicine'."

    "Oh, yeah?" said Jim. "Is she swallowing it or taking it as a suppository? "
  • Wife's Birthday Two guys were talking at the bar. One said, "I didn't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything and what she doesn't have she buys for herself. I asked a friend what to give her and...
  • That's a Penis? A newlywed couple gets back from their honeymoon and the husband decides that he wants to watch the video of their first night as husband and wife. He plays the tape and hears his wife say...
  • The First Dance At an Irish wedding, everyone got drunk. The bride`s and groom`s families wrecked the reception hall fighting with each other. The police had to break up the fighting. The next week, both families were in court...
  • The Melting Touch Once upon a time there lived a King. The King had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched...
  • Importance of Assholes Every year Simon entered the state lottery hoping to win. He never did. Finally he prayed vigorously, hoping for God's message, he walked around the fair. A flash of lightning struck as he was passing Suzie`s...