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    A sex-starved wife is fed up with her boozy husband. Every night he comes in drunk and falls asleep straight away. It comes to a point where she hasn't had a good shag for over a year and is considering divorce.

    After another night in the pub, she decides to confront him when he gets home. When he staggers through the front door, before she can have a go at him, he coos, "Baby, get upstairs to the bedroom."

    She can't believe it - at last he's going to give her one. They get to the bedroom and he rips off her clothes. "Now darling do a hand-stand against the full length mirror on the wall."

    "Hmmm," she thinks "KINKY. I like it."

    She does the handstand and her hubby pulls her legs apart and puts his chin between her legs right on her muff.

    "The boys down the pub were right," he says, "a Goatee WOULD suit me!"

    So she closed her legs and broke his jaw.
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