Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way.

    Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.

    After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband, "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?"

    Looking over her carefully, Andy replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five."

    "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.

    Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying, "WHOA, hold on there sweety!" Andy interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet!"
  • What's in a Name? I recently met a Chinese man and his name was Kanna Swami. I asked him, "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"
    He said, "Many, many years ago when I first went to USA
  • Smoking While Praying Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, "I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?"
    "Why don`t you ask the rabbi?" says Morris. Cecil sees Rabbi Golden...
  • Guys & Dolls Tournament A man and wife were playing in their club`s annual `Guys and Dolls` tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife insisted. On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit. While his wife wasted...
  • Nice Flowers An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife`s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist...
  • Grounds For Divorce "Your Honor," she told the judge, "I want a divorce. My husband has been cheating on me."
    "That is a serious accusation," the judge said. "Do you have any...